Hamish had to have his operation in which they cut open the swelling, drained and cleaned it. They left it open so it could keep draining of blood and puss. They still could not find a cause for the infection though. He went for a check up today but I have not heard how he got on but was a lot better yesterday so he should be alright.
I went to the dentist yesterday and I had chipped another filling but he did it straight away. My dentist is brilliant. I got to see all my teeth and before and after of the chipped filling as he used a camera for the examination. It was a bit disturbing to see the inside of my mouth on a video though. You would not get better treatment going private.
Had my first Lithium blood test today. A bit crazy that I have a warfarin blood test on Friday the person that did it said it would have been more sensible to have it done at the same time. I agreed as I had asked if that is how it could be done but the pdoc said no. My GP is on the other side of the road so you would think they could have worked something out, just seems a waste taking up two appointments.
As I have heard (lostgirl) I have been more thirsty and after walking to the day hospital today my mouth was dry as a bone.
Wednesday, 19 December 2007
Saturday, 15 December 2007
Hamish
Spoke to my mum tonight and she said her dog, a Westie named Hamish, is not well. She took him to the vet as a big swelling appeared on his head. The vet did not know what it was as there was no marks on the skin. She put a needle in it and used a syringe to draw out the liquid. The stuff that came out proved it was an infection but still no idea why. She said if it had been a bite or wound it would have had an entry point and an abscess would have had a head on it.
He had some pain killers and antibiotics and he is going to have an operation tomorrow, well today now. They will investigate and hopefully sort it all out. Hamish was very good even with the draining with the syringe.
Hope he will be alright I think the world of him.
As for the lithium I have not had any side effects yet but I assume being on a low dose and it still building up I am not likely too. I never told my mum about the new meds. I did say I will have seen the pdoc 3 times in a month and need a bloodtest but she never asked why or how I was. No change there I suppose, ever get the feeling no-one cares?
He had some pain killers and antibiotics and he is going to have an operation tomorrow, well today now. They will investigate and hopefully sort it all out. Hamish was very good even with the draining with the syringe.
Hope he will be alright I think the world of him.
As for the lithium I have not had any side effects yet but I assume being on a low dose and it still building up I am not likely too. I never told my mum about the new meds. I did say I will have seen the pdoc 3 times in a month and need a bloodtest but she never asked why or how I was. No change there I suppose, ever get the feeling no-one cares?
Thursday, 13 December 2007
First dose of Lithium
Went to the pdoc today and he gave me a prescription for Lithium of which I just took the first dose. I have a bloodtest for it next where they will look at increasing it to the range that it does its stuff. Again I saw the other pdoc as I mention in the previous post and I was glad for another reason as my normal pdoc arrived an hour late and those waiting to see him were sent home. That has been a similar scenario on most of the appointments I have had with him in the last 6-9 months.
The tablets are pretty darn big about the size of a refresher (assuming they still make those). I also got a pill box / dosette box as I dont know whether I am coming or going with all these tablets.
Took Wucey out for her walk and it was freezing so she wore her duffel coat and she did look pretty sweet. To any one who ever says shes a cocker spaniel she dont need a coat I say she gets cold because in the winter she sleeps under the quilt with me. She must prefer being warm. Plus it also means she does not get so wet and and muddy which would end up on the sofa or bed. Its also easier to keep her groomed well.
Anyway back to topic I took the first one which is 400mg and I suppose the next will be 800 then see what happens. I am quite glad about the change because previously my pdoc was saying there was nothing more we could do with drugs. His boss who I have now seen was saying there are other options.
Wanted to put a post in yesterday but I forgot I really want to say a few words for someone tomorrow. I cant now as sleeeps have started to take effect and I have got to get ready. If I leave it long I end up waking a few hours later keeled over the computer with no idea of what was happening.
The tablets are pretty darn big about the size of a refresher (assuming they still make those). I also got a pill box / dosette box as I dont know whether I am coming or going with all these tablets.
Took Wucey out for her walk and it was freezing so she wore her duffel coat and she did look pretty sweet. To any one who ever says shes a cocker spaniel she dont need a coat I say she gets cold because in the winter she sleeps under the quilt with me. She must prefer being warm. Plus it also means she does not get so wet and and muddy which would end up on the sofa or bed. Its also easier to keep her groomed well.
Anyway back to topic I took the first one which is 400mg and I suppose the next will be 800 then see what happens. I am quite glad about the change because previously my pdoc was saying there was nothing more we could do with drugs. His boss who I have now seen was saying there are other options.
Wanted to put a post in yesterday but I forgot I really want to say a few words for someone tomorrow. I cant now as sleeeps have started to take effect and I have got to get ready. If I leave it long I end up waking a few hours later keeled over the computer with no idea of what was happening.
Monday, 10 December 2007
Another catch up post
Self harm trigger warning.
Its been a while since my last post and that is because I have been feeling pretty bad. More withdrawn and depressed and so totally lacking in any motivation to write here. I have had a couple of very bad days and one a couple of weeks back was particually bad. I really made a mess of my arm and what was worse than actually doing it was the fact that I did not remember doing it. It was only surface things nothing deep but has left lots of scars.
As far as the pdoc is concerned I have been to a couple of appointments since my last post and there have been a couple of changes. The first one was a typical appointment where I left very angry and despondent and I think it must have shown. A couple of days later I had a phone call from my social worker from a couple of years back and I saw her and a trainee that was working with her. They accompanied me to 'the group' where we spoke to the new person in charge there and it was decided that it was not a good idea for me to go back there. I am between two thoughts of if that decision was made with me in mind or for 'the group' as I think I am considered a disruptive and negative element when there. Which ever the real reason is I am just glad that finally they have realised that it does more harm than good when I go. Of course that is something I have tried to say for a year now.
I was also kind of frog matched to a local walking group which I admit I have not been back to yet. In my defence I was about 30 years younger than most of the others and its winter. Walking in the group I was anxiuos anyway but I felt like I stuck out even more with the age gap.
I also went to an open day at a 'workshop' run by the NHS in the closest city to me. They run various courses and groups in things like woodwork and computers for people with varying issues. I went with the trainee social worker by train to the open day. That was not too bad actually but I dont think I could do that journey on my own and then its back to the group issues again which always go badly. Every group I have ended up in an argument with, asked to leave or nearly asked too so there seems little point in leaving one group to go to another.
After a few other suggestions of things I could do or attend the social workers gave me a new assessment and then went again. As much as I should not complain that my pdoc did get me some help I was not really wanting someone to meet me a couple of times suggest several groups and then disappear again.
There is one other thing that I am waiting to hear about and thats a local one to one service which the trainee social worker said she would introduce me to. Although she said she would get back to me within a couple of days and its been a week so may be she has forgotten. I am too scared to go phone this service up myself and make an appointment at the moment.
My next visit to the pdoc I actually ran into some luck. Well it had to happen sooner or later! My doctor had car trouble and was running very late so I had to see another one who I have not seen in a long time. He is very nice and also the head one of the day hospital. Its the first time in a long time I actually felt like someone was listening and also he took my self harm seriously. He also took note of the added risk of self harm while on warfarin and also the fact that I often did it and did not realise. It was remarkable that he knew more about me than my normal pdoc does as well.
He suggested (I wonder if the girl who writes at blue funk blues will read this?) I go onto Lithium and seem to suggest that it was something he would have done a while ago. I have to see him again this week as he gave me a week to read the leaflet he printed and think about it. He said about the blood tests but I have regular ones anyway with my warfarin so thats not an issue. He also said about the toxic levels and all that but at least they do blood tests and check on it. I think about all the other tablets I take and what they could be doing and no checks are ever done on them. I cant believe that taking six different meds (plus migraine and pain killers when required) is not doing something to my insides. It may work or at least help so what the hell. I have looked around and from what I have read in the past its the same as any tablet or review of any product. To some its the best since sliced bread and to others its created in the depths of hell. Horses for courses so I may as well give it a go especially if it will stop me waking up sometimes with a painful arm and blood stained pillows.
As for the family I dont even want to go there so lets just say its bad.
My dog is now two years old and still only has about two brain cells. She is still lovely and so attached to me its crazy, she just cant get close enough sometimes.
Well that will do for now its cold and my fingers are freezing typing this. I did have to relent yesterday and put the heating on for an hour but no way was I doing that again today. Its often said about us people on incapacity benefit that we have all this money for nothing but its not easy to live on it and you cant afford much. Very low spending on heating and food are the only ways to afford other things. Its good for the environment to, very low carbon footprint from this house! Even Lucy sleeps under the quilt as its so cold but she is a great hot water bottle. Actually the picture is from a while ago but this is her wrapped up in my dressing gown.
Its been a while since my last post and that is because I have been feeling pretty bad. More withdrawn and depressed and so totally lacking in any motivation to write here. I have had a couple of very bad days and one a couple of weeks back was particually bad. I really made a mess of my arm and what was worse than actually doing it was the fact that I did not remember doing it. It was only surface things nothing deep but has left lots of scars.
As far as the pdoc is concerned I have been to a couple of appointments since my last post and there have been a couple of changes. The first one was a typical appointment where I left very angry and despondent and I think it must have shown. A couple of days later I had a phone call from my social worker from a couple of years back and I saw her and a trainee that was working with her. They accompanied me to 'the group' where we spoke to the new person in charge there and it was decided that it was not a good idea for me to go back there. I am between two thoughts of if that decision was made with me in mind or for 'the group' as I think I am considered a disruptive and negative element when there. Which ever the real reason is I am just glad that finally they have realised that it does more harm than good when I go. Of course that is something I have tried to say for a year now.
I was also kind of frog matched to a local walking group which I admit I have not been back to yet. In my defence I was about 30 years younger than most of the others and its winter. Walking in the group I was anxiuos anyway but I felt like I stuck out even more with the age gap.
I also went to an open day at a 'workshop' run by the NHS in the closest city to me. They run various courses and groups in things like woodwork and computers for people with varying issues. I went with the trainee social worker by train to the open day. That was not too bad actually but I dont think I could do that journey on my own and then its back to the group issues again which always go badly. Every group I have ended up in an argument with, asked to leave or nearly asked too so there seems little point in leaving one group to go to another.
After a few other suggestions of things I could do or attend the social workers gave me a new assessment and then went again. As much as I should not complain that my pdoc did get me some help I was not really wanting someone to meet me a couple of times suggest several groups and then disappear again.
There is one other thing that I am waiting to hear about and thats a local one to one service which the trainee social worker said she would introduce me to. Although she said she would get back to me within a couple of days and its been a week so may be she has forgotten. I am too scared to go phone this service up myself and make an appointment at the moment.
My next visit to the pdoc I actually ran into some luck. Well it had to happen sooner or later! My doctor had car trouble and was running very late so I had to see another one who I have not seen in a long time. He is very nice and also the head one of the day hospital. Its the first time in a long time I actually felt like someone was listening and also he took my self harm seriously. He also took note of the added risk of self harm while on warfarin and also the fact that I often did it and did not realise. It was remarkable that he knew more about me than my normal pdoc does as well.
He suggested (I wonder if the girl who writes at blue funk blues will read this?) I go onto Lithium and seem to suggest that it was something he would have done a while ago. I have to see him again this week as he gave me a week to read the leaflet he printed and think about it. He said about the blood tests but I have regular ones anyway with my warfarin so thats not an issue. He also said about the toxic levels and all that but at least they do blood tests and check on it. I think about all the other tablets I take and what they could be doing and no checks are ever done on them. I cant believe that taking six different meds (plus migraine and pain killers when required) is not doing something to my insides. It may work or at least help so what the hell. I have looked around and from what I have read in the past its the same as any tablet or review of any product. To some its the best since sliced bread and to others its created in the depths of hell. Horses for courses so I may as well give it a go especially if it will stop me waking up sometimes with a painful arm and blood stained pillows.
As for the family I dont even want to go there so lets just say its bad.
My dog is now two years old and still only has about two brain cells. She is still lovely and so attached to me its crazy, she just cant get close enough sometimes.
Well that will do for now its cold and my fingers are freezing typing this. I did have to relent yesterday and put the heating on for an hour but no way was I doing that again today. Its often said about us people on incapacity benefit that we have all this money for nothing but its not easy to live on it and you cant afford much. Very low spending on heating and food are the only ways to afford other things. Its good for the environment to, very low carbon footprint from this house! Even Lucy sleeps under the quilt as its so cold but she is a great hot water bottle. Actually the picture is from a while ago but this is her wrapped up in my dressing gown.
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